All through the ages, people have been jostling frantically to find the secret to living forever.
At first it may seem like a noble task, given that man's lease of life has been dwindling from the triple digits down into the double digits. So when it was about two centuries B.C.E, the First Emperor of China thought that he might be the one to reverse the "curse" of aging and dying by officiating the entire China to search for an Immortality Elixir, joining them in certain outrageous quests himself (like searching out the mountains of immortality under the sea that supposedly house three immortals).
He genuinely believed that he could find the answer to an eternal earthly life. The more Emperor Qin had, the more he felt like he needed to protect what he had. The accomplished Emperor Qin died young, unfortunately, due to a wrong diagnosis with mercury - it's devilishly poisonous.
Today, man has smarten up. He realises that living forever is simply not possible - the human body is an atrophying unit that does not have the capacity to outlive even the electronic devices we possess. This drive, while not obliterated, has evolved.
"If we can't live forever, why not try to live longer?" This new motto seems to sit well with reasonable scientists everywhere, and thus the search for long life continues, in herbs, cryotherapy, and in stem cell research.
But are we really any closer to living significantly longer? Our species has been on the regress with chaotic environmental changes, and there's no telling who can really outlive the other - healthy eating? Not smoking? Exercising? We can't pinpoint what exactly adds the numbers to our years. The factors are ever-changing, and it makes living longer a bonus, not a must.
Moreover, have you ever paused to wonder if Adam got tired of living after celebrating his 367th birthday? Bet you never thought of that!
In Oliver Sacks' book, "Gratitude", we take a peek into a life well lived. A man who was grateful with what he got. Maybe we don't have to live longer... perhaps we just need to live now.
His Last Four Essays
Oliver Sacks did not put these last essays into this book that I have in my hands - they were written on four separate occasions, and compiled lovingly by Kate Edgar and Bill Hayes.
I first saw the book in a #DignityKitchen bookshelf and leapt at it. If Oliver Sacks, a neurologist, world-famous writer, and lover of people had anything to say about life as he was approaching his final days, I'd want to know all about it. There are four essays in this book, arranged in chronological order.
July 2013: His first essay is ironically titled "Mercury". If the horrible image of Emperor Qin's obsession with mercury sprang up, I'd like you to replace it with Sacks' idea of mercury with it. He loved the periodic table, and had a quirky way of using the elements of the table to represent his age every year, starting from his eleventh "Sodium" birthday. He was a "Gold-en" 79 when he penned the essay, stepping into his element of Mercury, the age of 80.
He wrote, "... I begin to feel, not a shrinking but an enlargement of mental life and perspective. One has had a long experience of life, not only of one's own life, but others' too. One has seen triumphs and tragedies, booms and busts, revolutions and wars, great achievements and deep ambiguities... One is more conscious of transience, and perhaps, of beauty."
19 February 2015: His second essay is entitled, "My Own Life". This was also published in the The New York Times. I was taken aback by how calmly he wrote this essay; equal parts honest, afraid, sentimental, and brave. Sacks talked about the melanoma in his eye and how it had metastasised to his liver, and that he didn't have long to live. In bittersweet honesty, Sacks wrote at the end of this essay saying, "I cannot pretend I am without fear. But my predominant feeling is one of gratitude. I have loved and been loved; I have been given much and I have given something in return; I have read and traveled and thought and written. I have had an intercourse with the world" (#NathanielHawthorne inspired that last phrase).
26 July 2015: "My Periodic Table" was a personal Narnia for Sacks. Having experienced much loss as a young boy, he retreated into the world of numbers, minerals, and elements. It was there in his secret periodic place that he found what would become his lifelong love, work, and passion. He reflected on his mortality, using the elements to parallel his milestones, but eventually circling back to his childhood... and his "Narnia days": "But then, at the other end of my table - my periodic table - I have a beautifully machined piece of beryllium (element 4) to remind me of my childhood, and of how long ago my soon-to-end life began."
16 August 2015: Oliver Sacks' last essay, "Sabbath", is a deeply, deeply personal essay about his Jewish childhood, sexual orientation and his final words. His mother's words upon finding out that he liked boys were "you are an abomination", a phrase he carried with him all through his life, and it was finally freeing to declare frankly to the world on paper about his sexuality.
Sacks' essays grew increasingly personal, sentimental, heartrending, and yet more beautiful, as he was nearing death. Death drew out thoughts of the Sabbath... not because they were the same thing, but because he always had a soft spot for the Sabbath, being a Jew. He also saw death as somewhat a final rest.
In this last essay, which was published two weeks before his death, he concluded, "I find my thoughts drifting to the Sabbath, the day of rest, the seventh day of the week, and perhaps the seventh day of one's life as well, when one can feel that one's work is done, and one may, in good conscience, rest."
Indeed, Oliver Sacks was a man who was grateful with what he got.
It appears that letting go of control, being open to life's little beauties, and letting go of what you cannot change, "knowing that the future is in good hands"... are key ingredients in ageing gracefully and gratefully. Through his essays, we understand that maybe we truly don't have to live longer... perhaps we just need to live now, with what we can already see, feel, and know.
There is just so much that Sacks wrote about which go beyond the quotes that I'd picked out here. For the last three essays, you can read them on The New York Times. Only "Mercury" can be found in this book. Rest in Peace, Dr. Oliver Sacks.
Check out my bite-sized review in @curiousbookreviewer on Instagram if you're still curious! #OliverSacks #TheManWhoMistookHisWifeForAHat #Gratitude #Bookstagram #MyOwnLife #MyPeriodicTable #Mercury
Comments